January 21, 2004
John Kerry, Last Hope for Sex in the White House?
Still not sure what to make of John Kerry's recent comeback capped with a victory in the Iowa. He was dead in the water 10 days ago, and then what? Best explanation I can come up with is that it some how involves the Stephan Marbury coming to the Knicks, cause they both happened at the same time and both involve a little bit of magic. Actually this article gives a hint, but one operative in Iowa is not the answer.
The eeriest aspect of Kerry's turnaround, to me at least, is how its effected my opinion of the man. I pretty much dismissed him from the get go, one of my least favorite candidates. The man looks like a giant shrivelled penis for christ's sake, how the hell is he going to get elected president?
Suddenly though I like him, he looks a little more like a cross between Keith Richards and Ronald Reagan. And the penis bit? perhaps that's actually a good thing. Maybe that's exactly what this country needs, someone to bring some sex back into the White House. Might keep us out of a couple wars. And shit, who wouldn't vote for the sex candidate? We all know that Clinton's approval ratings jump way up once it was clear he was pimping in the oval office.
Of course the core conservatives and religious right would start squealing louder then Dean with a gerbil up his rear, but they're only 30% of the vote. Plus elections occur behind closed doors and we all know damn well how dirty the deeply religious get under those circumstances.
Course Kerry isn't exactly the ideal candidate, but consider the alternatives. The way Dean has been acting lately you'd think Judy hasn't broken him off a piece since their freaking honeymoon. And someone should let Kucinich know that Friendster is still free, and there for a much cheaper way of finding a date then running for president. Gephardt proved his impotency as House Majority leader, and Clark would never consent to something as human as intercourse, would he? Perhaps Edwards is an option, but he doesn't look like he's past the age of consent. Sharpton, hell I love the mofo, but whether we like it or not this country just ain't ready to go black...
So there you have it, John Kerry the only option to bring sex back into the White House. Make what you want of it, I just write this shit.Posted by Abe at January 21, 2004 02:03 AM