A Brief Guide to the Democratic Primaries

The Iowa caucuses are hear heralding the start of the Democratic primaries. To aid any Democratic readers in their choices, Abstract Dynamics has produced a brief guide to the candidates:

Howard Dean: Finally some one figured out how to make money off this blog interweb thing!

Wesley Clark: Very smart, not a politician, also probably not born on this planet.

John Kerry: Tall, initials are JFK.

Dick Gephardt: Caught in his own private, once every four years, version of groundhog's day.

John Edwards: Go back to the future babyface, maybe they'll let you play with the pros in 8 years.

Dennis Kucinich: The Berlin Wall fell 15 years ago pappi, and no one really wants to build it again in DC.

Al Sharpton: This man needs a daily radio show not some white house.

That other guy whose name is vaguely familiar from the last time we played this game: Doesn't like movies, doesn't like video games, doesn't like hip hop. But somehow he wants people to like him.